Tuition Terrors

The other day our local paper ran a story saying the board of trustees approved a tuition hike for the '07 - '08 academic year. I didn't pay too much attention since tuition is always going up, but then I realized tuition for in-state students at our state university will be $8660 for the next academic year! On top of that, fees will add a whopping $2394 and room and board will total $7666. The icing on the cake is that tuition increased 9.5% over last year - yikes!

I started thinking... we want more children, but can we possibly afford to send Maria to college, much less any future kids? I started my calculations by assuming tuition and fees will continue to rise at 9.5% per year. This seems reasonable since states have been pushing more and more of the funding burden for higher ed back onto the institutions themselves. Universities have responded by raising both tuition and fees. I assumed that room and board would rise at the rate of inflation (which I assumed to be about 3%/year), that Maria would start college when she's 18, attend our state university (the cheapest option by far!) and graduate in 4 years. I further assumed that the policy of freezing tuition for incoming freshman would still be in place when she attends school. With a little help from excel, here's what I discovered:

Tuition for 4 years: $177,400 ($107,600 in today's $)
Fees for 4 years: $56,500 (32,800 in today's $)
Room and Board for 4 years: $ 54,600 (30,700 in today's $)
This would cost a grand total of $288,500 ($171,000 in today's $) ... much more than the value of our home!

If I make the scenario slightly darker and assume that Maria will need 5 years to graduate and the room and board in the university dorms will rise in a manner similar to tuition, it will cost more than half a million dollars for her college education! ($320,200 in today's $)

At some point one has to ask if education is worth this price tag!?! Remember, these numbers are not for a private ivy league institution, just in-state tuition at our local university. Encouraging our child to take lots of AP classes in high school or go to the local community college is starting to seem like a financially prudent move. I have read that one factor in the high cost of education is that loans specifically for school are available at low interest rates and therefore students do not pay much attention to the price tag for an education. The argument goes that if you raise interest rates on student loans, students will become more price sensitive when choosing institutions. I don't really buy this argument. I think the average person assumes education is a good deal regardless of what it costs and doesn't understand exponential growth well enough to realize how high interest rates affect the paying off of a loan. My only hope is for online education to come into it's own and offer some serious price competition for traditional brick-and-mortar institutions. Online dating has lost it's stigma, so maybe online education is next!

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream...

To clarify, I'm using this phrase to mean something different than Hamlet and this post is actually about sleep and NOT about death, thankfully!

Before I became a mom, when I would hear those who were parents discuss the sleep schedules of their offspring, I felt deeply puzzled. It simply did not make sense to me to impose what sounded like a rigid sleep schedule. I have even heard parents who do subscribe to sleep schedules described as "sleep Nazis" for appearing to prioritize the child's sleep schedule above all and dropping other amusements from their schedule.

Now that I am a chronically sleep-deprived mom, I have much more sympathy for these parents. I have purchased (or been given) not one, not two, but THREE books on the subject of children's sleep. I hope in future posts to summarize these books as well as my reactions to them. It should be interesting since they run the range from strong advocates of attachment parenting & co-sleeping to the full "cry-it-out" method.

As for our current sleep problem (if it is correct to define it as a problem), the little girl is very fussy in the evenings. We try to put her down, only to have her wake up crying 5 to 15 minutes later. For example, tonight Maria started seriously fussing around 7pm. I put her down twice, only to have her start to wail both times after the customary delay. Mark tried, failed and then passed her on to me for some nursing. She ate, but wouldn't sleep so I passed her back. After more fussing behavior and some sucking of Mark's bicep, he passed her back for a final nursing session at which she finally fell asleep and thankfully STAYED asleep! This whole process lasted until 8:45pm.

What are my current thoughts on sleep? It's confusing! Some say the problem is that babies learn the bad habit of only being able to fall asleep when sucking. Others say the problem is lack of sleep leading to the release of stress hormones. One friend said her babies slept through the night at 6 weeks, while another said hers didn't do that until 10 months olds. Some say mobiles and stimulating items in the crib are bad. Some advocate white noise, others counsel making lots of noise while the baby sleeps. What are the real problems? Are there any universal solutions?

I can see the appeal of a schedule because it allows one to plan the day. But at what age is it developmentally appropriate to expect a schedule? I want to be the parent and not let my daughter rule, but I don't want my own (usually selfish!) desire for control to rule either. I want to do what is appropriate and best for my daughter and I realize what is best will change as she matures. That said, I recoil from the idea of making a god out of a child's sleep schedule. There are some things that are more important than a sleep schedule, such as attending church regularly together with my husband and going to our weekly bible study. I also think that going out to socialize with friends is a legitimate need (in moderation!) and I refuse to give that up simply because we have a child.

Overcome by Cute Rays

When I was growing up I was definitely a tom boy... into climbing trees, skateboarding, camping and all that good stuff. And I was surrounded by 2 like-minded sisters. One time one of us got a Barbie-like doll for a birthday present from a friend. Not in the habit of playing with dolls, we somehow decided to take the doll apart (this most likely was Monica's idea!), probably to see how it was put together. We got all the limbs off and at some point I'm embarrassed to say the Barbie doll head ended up in the toilet! All of this is just to prove that I was a card-carrying tom boy and as one can easily guess, not a big fan of the color pink.

A friend had a girl in December. Before her daughter arrived, she went shopping for clothes and was dismayed to find that practically all girl oriented baby clothes were pink! I definitely felt her pain and said if I had a girl I definitely wouldn't want to dress her in pink either. Though I haven't gone to high end children's clothing stores, I hear they have a better selection of non-pink girl's clothes and better gender neutral clothes as well.

Then Maria arrived and somehow things changed. Maybe I was overcome by the cute rays or something, but the first time I went shopping for clothes for her I bought all pink clothes! Every morning I look in her closet and try to find the cutest outfit I can for her to wear, and yes, I often come up with something pink. I comfort myself with the thought that at least all these dresses aren't preventing her from climbing trees or anything like that. She can't even roll over yet! Even so, I'm left with the vague feeling that I've sold out on my tom boy roots. Maybe when she gets a little older and decides to rebel she'll ditch the pink and go for tree-climbing-digging-in-the-mud garb.

As a side note, my sister Monica remembers the demise of the Barbie doll slightly differently. She recalls actively hating dolls and that we actually sawed off the limbs using the vice on the little work bench our dad made for us! It's a miracle none of us have become mass murderers! Between the three of us we hold advanced degrees in physics, mathematics and electrical engineering... a hopefully more constructive channeling of our energies!

What I WISH I would have said...

So one day as I was changing Maria's diaper a friend noticed that we use cloth diapers. She asked in an incredulous voice why on earth we were using cloth. I came up with the lame answer that I had friends who used cloth and that laundry was the chore I minded the least. Not an answer that I'm particularly happy with since it makes me sound like a lemming, but it was what popped into my head at the time!

Here's what I wish I would have said... I've always wanted to use cloth. I don't precisely know why cloth diapers, but now that I have a child I'm finally able to act on this peculiar, long-held desire. I think cloth diapers remind me of visiting my grandma on her farm and seeing clothes hanging to dry on the line. There's something wonderful about any household chore that can be partially done outside, especially during good weather!

As for logical reasons for using cloth: they are cheaper (provided you wash your own), better for the environment (as long as you look at studies NOT funded by disposable diaper manufacturers), easy to use (diaper technology has come a long way, baby) and possibly better for babies' bottoms (disposable diapers contain chemicals no longer allowed in certain feminine products). As an added benefit, cloth-diapered children usually potty train sooner since they can actually feel when they are wet. Pretty cool!

When I was researching what sort of cloth diapers to buy I found out all sorts of interesting things. Did you know it's illegal to dispose of human waste in dumps? Basically everyone who has ever used a disposable diaper (including me!) is breaking the law! I can just picture some unfortunate police officer assigned to go through people's trash and write up tickets!