Sunroom Sundries

It's been an interesting few days in our sun room. Happily it has been getting cool enough that we've been able to go out there in the mornings and evenings. Last night I noticed a praying mantis on the sun room door.

This morning it had been joined by another praying mantis... I took a closer look and indeed they were doing what bugs do on the Nature Channel. I dimly remembered learning something quite horrible in high school biology class about praying mantises and I was scared.

I hoped against hope that my memory was wrong. But I couldn't be sure if it was or it wasn't. The uncertainty of it all drew me (against my better judgment!) to check back on the mantises throughout the day.

At first they were continuing to do what they had been doing. Then the moment came when all my fears were realized. I don't think I want to fully explain what happened, but it involved cannibalism... go ask your biology teacher for details. After my dreaded suspicion was confirmed I no longer checked back, but I did hum taps for the male praying mantis.

The wikipedia entry on praying mantids was quite interesting. Apparently one can keep them as pets and feed them crickets. (Mattox, are you reading this?) I started thinking that might be a fun sort of science project to do with Maria when she gets older - keep a praying mantis in a little terrarium and feed it crickets. There certainly is no shortage of crickets here among the corn and soybean fields! But now I'm wondering if this feeding of crickets would be too gross and would scar Maria for life. I figure as her mother I'm totally doomed... no matter what I do I'll scar her for life in somehow, but I'd like to keep the damage as minimal as possible!

PS. This picture was taken before anything too terrible happened. The odd part is that the female was missing one arm, but that didn't stop her from doing what she did. Such aggressive little critters!

Food, Glorious Food

Last week at covenant group Maria was intently watching everyone eat and at one point tried to swipe a bread stick out of my hand! That's when I decided to start giving her real food in addition to her usual diet of "happy juice" (breast milk). Since happy juice requires no preparation, no cleanup, almost no extra packing when traveling and is virtually free, I hadn't been looking forward to complicating our lives with real food. But raising a child definitely isn't all about what's convenient for me, so I grudgingly bought some brown rice cereal and attempted the first feeding on Thursday.

Yes, feeding solids is horribly messy, but to my surprise I found that it's also completely hilarious and loads of fun when in the right mood! Maria made crazy faces, tried to bite the spoon and promptly evicted all of the rice cereal from her mouth with her tongue after every attempt. Things went about the same on the second day, but I discovered that she loves to play with the bowl and spoon. I'm going to give rice cereal one more try and then conclude that she just doesn't like the stuff. I tried some out of curiosity and it's pretty nasty... rather like bland, gloppy glue. Maybe she'll like pureed veggies better.

Maria paints Chicago pink!

Last weekend Mark's mom was in Chicago for a women's conference for the Covenant church. We decided that a 2.5 hour drive to see one of his parents was much better than the usual 9.5 hour drive and so the plan was hatched.

We had to ask directions to the hotel when we were less than a block away(!), but other than that the drive went well. Maria was a big hit with the ladies from Mark's parent's church, though she burst into tears suddenly after too much attention! Boy was her grandma happy to see her!!

We ate at a restaurant called Italian Village and after an exceptionally loud crying spell in the women' s bathroom, Maria finally fell asleep in the restaurant. We decided to order dessert to take full advantage of her nap. Tiramisu is always a happy experience!

From the restaurant we walked past a mosaic by Marc Chagall on our way to Millenium Park.

It was neat to explore Millennium Park since it's relatively new and because the two face fountains were especially refreshing in the 90 degree plus heat. Mark especially enjoyed taking self-portraits and unique pictures in the giant reflective bean.

From there we walked through Grant's Park to Buckingham fountain. We collapsed in the shade of a crab apple tree and watched all the couples taking wedding and quince (sweet 16) photos. I didn't realize that quinceanera girls not only dress up in a formal gown that rivals many wedding dresses I've seen, but they also have a tuxedoed escort and a court of 2 or 3 matching couples to follow them around, not to mention professional photographers! The parallels to a wedding party are downright uncanny! There's even a magazine devoted entirely to quince parties! I'll try not to go on a tirade here about the excesses involved in modern weddings, but I have to say my feelings now extend to quincaneras as well. Frightening!

Anyway, we had a wonderful time exploring Chicago with momma Nina (pronounced "nine-uh") and it was neat seeing her and Maria together!

WNBA Player or Lion Tamer?

At her 2 month appointment Maria was in the 99th percentile for height... that means she's taller than 99 out of 100 girl babies her age! It's kind of neat to have a tall baby, but upon further consideration it's odd to be proud of something I really didn't have much to do with. I did contribute half her DNA, but I had no control over how tall I am, much less how tall she is! I'm a bit worried about the height thing since it's bad for women to be too tall (and for men to be too short)... it makes it really hard to find someone to date. Call me superficial, but I never could date someone shorter than me. Happily, Mark has solved all my problems in that area! ( :

I figure if Maria keeps growing at this rate she can have a career in the WNBA as long as she takes after her daddy in terms of coordination. Then a few days (well, really weeks... I'm super behind on blogging!) ago she started hitting her little stuffed lion on the play gym. She was totally going to town and hit that poor lion until she was tired out. Later that evening Maria was fussing while laying in her play gym. Mark noticed she was looking at the lion and when he moved her within striking range of the lion she stopped fussing!

All of this is to say that our daughter could turn out to be a lion tamer or a WNBA player or anything in between. After teaching for 4 years at a magnet high school for the gifted, I've witnessed a lot of highly-driven and successful parents get pretty pushy about their children's math grades. They are at the top of a math related field and can't accept that their son or daughter may not be as adept or interested as they were in mathematics. Sometimes it's just a maturity issue on the part of the student, but often kids simply have different interests from their parents. After seeing the agony the "I'm good at ____, so you must be equally good at ____" attitude causes, I'm determined to be open minded when it comes to Maria's future. Admittedly this is easier said than done, but I'm trying to prepare myself for her falling in love with art or sports or lion taming or even advertising (yuck!).

A man, a bottle and a baby

Yes, this slightly delirious looking man succeeded in giving this baby the bottle pictured below. Why is this a big deal? Well, the aforementioned baby is known to be quite persistent in her refusal of bottles of various shapes, sizes and makes. Her tactics are brutal... she cries, screams, fusses and carries on for what seems like hours. Yet this amazing man succeeded in giving the baby a bottle last Saturday morning (yes, I'm behind in my blogging) and with very little fussing the formerly stubborn baby drained the bottle dry! I need to nominate this man for some sort of bottle-giving medal. After that I plan to celebrate by purchasing some tickets to an outdoor Shakespeare play (Henry V) since I now can leave the baby for more than three hours. Yippee! I feel very, very free!

Tuition Terrors

The other day our local paper ran a story saying the board of trustees approved a tuition hike for the '07 - '08 academic year. I didn't pay too much attention since tuition is always going up, but then I realized tuition for in-state students at our state university will be $8660 for the next academic year! On top of that, fees will add a whopping $2394 and room and board will total $7666. The icing on the cake is that tuition increased 9.5% over last year - yikes!

I started thinking... we want more children, but can we possibly afford to send Maria to college, much less any future kids? I started my calculations by assuming tuition and fees will continue to rise at 9.5% per year. This seems reasonable since states have been pushing more and more of the funding burden for higher ed back onto the institutions themselves. Universities have responded by raising both tuition and fees. I assumed that room and board would rise at the rate of inflation (which I assumed to be about 3%/year), that Maria would start college when she's 18, attend our state university (the cheapest option by far!) and graduate in 4 years. I further assumed that the policy of freezing tuition for incoming freshman would still be in place when she attends school. With a little help from excel, here's what I discovered:

Tuition for 4 years: $177,400 ($107,600 in today's $)
Fees for 4 years: $56,500 (32,800 in today's $)
Room and Board for 4 years: $ 54,600 (30,700 in today's $)
This would cost a grand total of $288,500 ($171,000 in today's $) ... much more than the value of our home!

If I make the scenario slightly darker and assume that Maria will need 5 years to graduate and the room and board in the university dorms will rise in a manner similar to tuition, it will cost more than half a million dollars for her college education! ($320,200 in today's $)

At some point one has to ask if education is worth this price tag!?! Remember, these numbers are not for a private ivy league institution, just in-state tuition at our local university. Encouraging our child to take lots of AP classes in high school or go to the local community college is starting to seem like a financially prudent move. I have read that one factor in the high cost of education is that loans specifically for school are available at low interest rates and therefore students do not pay much attention to the price tag for an education. The argument goes that if you raise interest rates on student loans, students will become more price sensitive when choosing institutions. I don't really buy this argument. I think the average person assumes education is a good deal regardless of what it costs and doesn't understand exponential growth well enough to realize how high interest rates affect the paying off of a loan. My only hope is for online education to come into it's own and offer some serious price competition for traditional brick-and-mortar institutions. Online dating has lost it's stigma, so maybe online education is next!

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream...

To clarify, I'm using this phrase to mean something different than Hamlet and this post is actually about sleep and NOT about death, thankfully!

Before I became a mom, when I would hear those who were parents discuss the sleep schedules of their offspring, I felt deeply puzzled. It simply did not make sense to me to impose what sounded like a rigid sleep schedule. I have even heard parents who do subscribe to sleep schedules described as "sleep Nazis" for appearing to prioritize the child's sleep schedule above all and dropping other amusements from their schedule.

Now that I am a chronically sleep-deprived mom, I have much more sympathy for these parents. I have purchased (or been given) not one, not two, but THREE books on the subject of children's sleep. I hope in future posts to summarize these books as well as my reactions to them. It should be interesting since they run the range from strong advocates of attachment parenting & co-sleeping to the full "cry-it-out" method.

As for our current sleep problem (if it is correct to define it as a problem), the little girl is very fussy in the evenings. We try to put her down, only to have her wake up crying 5 to 15 minutes later. For example, tonight Maria started seriously fussing around 7pm. I put her down twice, only to have her start to wail both times after the customary delay. Mark tried, failed and then passed her on to me for some nursing. She ate, but wouldn't sleep so I passed her back. After more fussing behavior and some sucking of Mark's bicep, he passed her back for a final nursing session at which she finally fell asleep and thankfully STAYED asleep! This whole process lasted until 8:45pm.

What are my current thoughts on sleep? It's confusing! Some say the problem is that babies learn the bad habit of only being able to fall asleep when sucking. Others say the problem is lack of sleep leading to the release of stress hormones. One friend said her babies slept through the night at 6 weeks, while another said hers didn't do that until 10 months olds. Some say mobiles and stimulating items in the crib are bad. Some advocate white noise, others counsel making lots of noise while the baby sleeps. What are the real problems? Are there any universal solutions?

I can see the appeal of a schedule because it allows one to plan the day. But at what age is it developmentally appropriate to expect a schedule? I want to be the parent and not let my daughter rule, but I don't want my own (usually selfish!) desire for control to rule either. I want to do what is appropriate and best for my daughter and I realize what is best will change as she matures. That said, I recoil from the idea of making a god out of a child's sleep schedule. There are some things that are more important than a sleep schedule, such as attending church regularly together with my husband and going to our weekly bible study. I also think that going out to socialize with friends is a legitimate need (in moderation!) and I refuse to give that up simply because we have a child.